SO much going on…
I guess I could write about the Obama Administration’s grotesque defense of DOMA. It wasn’t just, Oh, it’s standing legislation, so we have to stand next to it. It was grotesque.
Dear Obama: You can’t write a brief saying, we can’t change this law because it’s been a law for a long time. That’s the whole point of CHANGE, genius. And you can’t compare same-sex marriage to incest.
Or I could write about the continued lack of action on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
Dear Obama: John McCain thinks there should be a panel. Hellooooooo.
Or I could write about how frustrated I am right now as a trans guy, because of the ongoing use of GAY as the WORD OF CHOICE all the freakin time.
What the hell?
Here’s what happened today. I, as you all know, spend most of my waking hours on Twitter, trying to build community and make things change. In this capacity, I spend a lot of time talking back and forth with a lot of people from all over the world, everywhere on the spectra of gender and sexuality, race, religion, everything. It’s changing my life, and I welcome that.
So a lot of us talk pretty often about the mainstream media (asshats), and the Administration (asshats), and “gay leadership” (right, whatever, ASSHATS). Mostly we try to use inclusive language, even though this is sometimes…challenging. And it often leads to awkward sentence construction, which is annoying.
But today there was drama because last night, while telling her viewers that Obama had dropped the queer football AGAIN, Rachel Maddow (whom I like very much) kept saying “gay” this and “gay” that. I got into a thing on Twitter with this other person, who is generally someone I like and respect, who kept saying, Oh, well, she means the whole range of GLBTQ etc. And I kept saying, Yes, I know, but if she doesn’t ever SAY trans, we keep being invisible in your big giant gay umbrella. And she kept saying, But if we say gay, then that becomes the common word.
It went on FOR A LONG TIME and made me want to drive to where she is and shake her. So I went and watched reruns of Joan of Arcadia for a while, and then I felt better.
Yes, I’m gay. If you didn’t know that already, and are all, what the hell? I thought he used to be lesbian! Doesn’t he like girls!? then chill out. I slept with girls so you wouldn’t find out I was gay, just like any other freaked out gay boy might do. As for Muscles, the light of my heart, she is only just barely a girl, and we are who we are, and we’re all crazy about each other, so cope. Jesus.
But I am also trans. When Rachel Maddow says “gay” (and Keith Olbermann, and that idiot Anderson Cooper, and all the excellent gay bloggers who are writing right now), people forget just a little more about me.
When people just say “gay,” and rely on groups like Human Rights Campaign for “gay” leadership, my people, the radical faeries and the stone butch dykes and the trannies and the rest of us, the people who don’t (or won’t, or can’t) fit into the happy cookie cutters, get left out.
Now, I am not as radical as a lot of people. Some of these other people, like Elian Maricon, are brilliant and wonderful and brave, and I have enormous respect for them. Elian has changed my mind on some things, and challenged my thinking on everything else. I owe him tremendously. You can link to his blog, Queers Against Obama, from over in my blogroll thing. Same for Diane Gee and Wild, Wild Left. I learn from them all the time, and through those lessons I am increasingly finding my voice.
And more and more I think Elian is more right than I originally thought. For instance, there’s this giant March on Washington in October, with lots of pro and con arguing about why it is or isn’t a good idea. Both sides have a lot of good arguments. I am probably going, because I think visibility is important. But Elian (and others) have pointed out that it’s mostly going to end up being the white gay people who can afford to go, who show up. If I were any more distant from DC than I am, there’s no way I could go. And I don’t get the idea that the word trans is going to be used much. It’s organized by Cleve Jones, who is one of the good guys, and he has talked (a little) about trans issues, but…
But I don’t care about gay marriage. I care about marriage equality (when I care about marriage at all). My issues are human than gay, and more trans than gay. I worry about health care for trans folk. Not just the shots and the surgery and all, although that’s important. But what the hell is anyone doing about the older trans guys who need regular Pap smears and mammograms? What about the older trans women who need prostate screening?
I’m sorry if I’m ranting (only a little sorry). I’m tired of being the last letter in our little happy rainbow. I worked hard to get Obama elected (and now am VERY sorry about that), and I worked hard for years on gay & lesbian issues. It would be really swell if just for a minute, there was some payback.
